glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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