she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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