the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
