So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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