If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.