I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.