So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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