I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?