how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?