Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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