Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
