OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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