we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
