That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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