Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
