I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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