i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
