i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
