it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize