hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
