So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
