Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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