i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
