Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize