I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
