I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
