you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize