you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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