I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if only i could text you this smell
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
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