it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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