I showed him my bush... on skype.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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