I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
