Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
