she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
