Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
