Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
