11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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