You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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