So drunk, too bad you don't want this
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
