Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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