He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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