MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
