I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
