I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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