think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
