He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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