It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
