What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
