Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
