So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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