i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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