Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
