So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
