my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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