I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
