Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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