I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
bring money and cleavage
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
