the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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