Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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