woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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