but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
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We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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