in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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