My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
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I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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